Sometimes, I feel being ignored, as if I’m invisible. In the past, I can’t let it go immediately because the unclarity brings me confusion. As I grow older, as I’m more established professionally and more confident in appearance, that happens to me less often and I feel less hurt by it.
However, as I become more mature psychologically and emotionally, more aware of my feelings, I realize others’ behavior is not personal. They have their own woundings and conditions, and mine was from the emotional neglect from my father early on when I was a baby, which was also not personal. My father just really wanted to have a son instead of a daughter who happened to have a stubborn personality.
This wounding was triggered slightly once more while at the Yin yoga class a few days ago. There were a total of 5 students and I was right in the middle. The instructor was facing me during the whole class but as if I was not there at all. She kept making conversations with all others but me. She didn’t even make eye contact with me. She corrected others’ poses in the mist of it, except me. We can speculate many reasons, but I knew nothing was personal. As simple as that. I felt less and less a sting to my feelings as I’m becoming more aware of the truth.